The Road Through Wonderland: Surviving John Holmes

As many others have stated, once I began reading I could not put this book down. Dawn's personal style of writing captured me immediately. I felt as if I was sitting over coffee with her as she told her tale. The courage it takes to share this kind of story is beyond admirable. I stumbled upon this book as I looked through the "top free" selections for my kindle. I was intrigued by the description of the book, but hesitated to get it thinking it would be full of sordid details about John Holmes' pornography career. This was not the case. This is Dawn's story, and she did not focus on John Holmes, pornography star. Dawn told her story with the innocence and naiveté that was truly HER at that time in her life. This fact makes the book even more powerful. Had she elaborated on John's career it would have been just another titillating tale. Anyone looking for a thrill from this story, move on. Anyone looking to be swept up in a young girl's battle with the power an abuser can have over a person, and a woman's triumph over that power definitely needs to read this book. Every teenager facing difficulties in life needs to read this book. There is hope! One can overcome addiction, a horrific past and become a strong, triumphant adult. Adults need to read this book whether they have an abusive or addictive past or not. Through Dawn's story, we are given a vivid picture of how subtly predators draw in innocent young people and the powerful pull young women have towards anyone willing to "love" them. As adults we need to be aware of this so we can educate and protect our children and have compassion for those who were victims. There were a couple places in the book that seemed like I'd skipped a page as I read. I had to go back and figure out whether I missed something, or if it was just the way that particular section was written. I thought maybe the kindle version I was reading had a couple formatting mistakes. Since the kindle version is the only one I've read or looked at, I have no way of telling. Other than those two places, the writing flowed, the story unfolded at a perfect pace, and the book completely captured me. Thank you, Dawn, for having the courage to tell your story.

You will not learn much about the porn career of John Holmes here. There is another 500-page biography of him available on Amazon that covers this very well. This is the story of the adolescence of Dawn Schilling, who spent much of this time as the underage (at least at the beginning) "girlfriend" of Mr. Holmes. It takes you roughly through the four years before and year or so after the Wonderland murders, which brought Holmes a new category of infamy. The term "girlfriend" is used loosely here, as he had numerous affairs IN ADDITION TO the (mostly) women he had sex with as the main part of his main job. AND while still being married the whole time the book covers with his first wife Sharon (the three even lived together for a time), who provided some guidance and stability, and was also a first-hand witness when it all finally crashed and burned. In this book, Holmes is just "away" for sometimes weeks at a time, and other books fill in what went on then. What he did share with Dawn (not Sharon) was a constantly growing appetite for drugs, especially cocaine. And to be fair, Dawn, underage and all, was a willing participant. At least at the beginning. Until the paranoia and unjustified jealousy kicked in. And his involvement with two different groups of very dangerous people that would explode eventually into national headlines. This book is the basis for the movie "Wonderland", which does a decent job of telling the story of the murders from the different points of view that are available. For some reason, even though they portrayed him as a mostly pathetic human being, those who made the picture decided not to show the total monster Holmes became. The movie shows him striking Dawn on one occasion, and sending her to Eddie Nash once as part of paying off a debt. But in reality, Holmes regularly beat her for imagined cheating, and pimped her out repeatedly to get drug cash for (mostly) him at the rate of $10 to $20 a pop. This is what the guy who just a few years before had been the most highly paid porn actor of the time. The movie ends with the couple going out on the lam to Florida. but the beatings and pimping continued until her brother and L.A. police eventually remove her from Holmes life. Her description of what happened shortly after the movie ends. Which makes the book worth reading, although it ends before Holmes' trial. Pickup "Malice In Wonderland" to pick up the story.

A must read, a remarkable, well-written autobiography made by an incredibly extraordinary, brave, sensitive and smart woman who survived the King of porn who transformed himself into a narcissistic puppeteer. A man who loved an adolescent or the naive image she reflected of him and manipulated her, led her to a dirty game of drugs and self-destruction. A seductive, charismatic, clever and intricate man who wasn't bad but got controlled and twisted by a despicable underground world of hard drugs and sex and eventually gave up his life to it and embarked Dawn into this painful journey of misery. From a paternal/fraternal figure, he converted into an authentic best friend, caring lover and ultimately the worst paranoid and self-absorbed tyran you could think of. He sincerely loved her before the drugs took a drastic and irreparable hold on him but there were some cryptic and questionable elements about the way he loved her: he wouldn't let her have a social life even if she wanted (due to her tender and naive age, John was Dawn's world and she didn't think of letting enter anybody else into her life). He made her get a hard-knock, full-time work instead of encouraging her to pursue her studies and take care of all the spendings. After all, let's not forget he was the king of porn so if he knew how to manage his money, he could have lived a well-off life. Let alone the fact that he was still living with his first (sisterly/motherly strongly ambiguous) love Sharon so everything they did was part of a ménage-a-trois. He should have been more delicate while having sex and spend more time on the preliminaries. He didn't stand up for her every time his brother David and his mother mistreat her; all these essential details amplified by drugs would foreshadow his horrendous demeanor toward our dear author. However, she successfully managed to escape him and this highly tormented life and surprisingly rebuilt herself. The novel is written by a young candid Dawn who amazingly succeeded in recounting an image of John that matched the idea she had of him when the story happened. She did not let her emotions alter his description. Her narration is so articulate that I found myself caught with the very same feelings Dawn developed for John (friendship, trust, admiration, fascination, love, fright, confusion, anger, disappointment and hate). For those who wonder if Dawn will give any graphic detail about her forced sexual experiences, the Wonderland's murders or any juicy element about John's X-rated universe, that won't happen but she explains remarkably what she endured. The more I read Dawn's story, the more I loved her and saw her as a sister who could have been a wonderful friend. An inspiring and uplifting adult autobiographic novel I would recommend to anyone.

Amazingly courage to endure and survive....Dawn am in awe of you...you made it...xxx You are blessed to have come out alive

This book is truly shocking and gripping. I read this is only 2/3 days, as once you start you cannot put it down. The way the book is written, is a masterpiece - you feel as though you are feeling the same things as Dawn, not just reading them. Although the reality of what happened is incomprehensible and I am sure no one can understand the true gravity apart from the people in this book. Highly recommended read

Loved the book. Easy to read and captures your interest right away. The author is a brave survivor. I highly recommend this book.

I couldn't put this book down. What a powerful story! The author takes you on her journey so honestly that you are brought in close. You really do see it from her point of view and almost feel an understanding of how easy it must have been to get embroiled in it all, no matter how distant her life is from yours.